Birthday Blues

Well Blue is my favourite colour and being of a certain age and Canadian those words are spelt with a "u".

Being a confirmed bachelor the only way there will be Birthday Cake is if I make it myself. Luckily I enjoy baking and consider doing it from scratch the only possible way to go. There are no unimportant steps in the baking of a cake--you ignore any one of them at your peril. Take oiling and flouring the ten-inch tube pan--I was sure I'd completed the process correctly; then there's letting the cake set after it's baked--I followed the directions to wait 10 minutes but apparently that wasn't long enough. Oh Well! Icing will cover a multitude of sins. Cake one is a lemon pound cake; cake two is still in the oven as I write here--a carrot cake. This kind of baking makes eggs disappear quickly. After both have thoroughly cooled I will then mix lemon butter frosting--nothing but freshly grated lemon peel and squeezed lemon juice will do--anything else just doesn't taste right.


Lemon Pound Cake


Carrot Cake


Again I'm showing my age. I remember when vanilla extract was only slightly cheaper than real vanilla; now the real thing is $ 100.00 per gallon or $ 17.00 for 6 oz. I can also remember when opening a new container didn't involve fighting one's way through the security shield. But then I also remember when those spices were delivered by the Watkins Man who happened to be a cousin and after conducting business he stayed for dinner having strategically arranged his arrival for that event. Dinner, of course, on the farm, was at noon. And I also remember when licking the beaters and cleaning the bowl was not considered a risky act--but then we had our own hens in those days and the stricture that one use day-old eggs in baking meant something.

Cake number two is done; I turned off the oven and out of form will allow it to sit there for the remaining three minutes though smell, touch, and shrinking away from the sides of the pan would seem to indicate doneness. My word processor doesn't recognize that word; but then it's never baked a cake. The next step is grating and juicing that lemon but there's loads of time for that as the cakes must completely cool before I attempt icing them. I plan to slice up both cakes before taking them in to work tomorrow so I'll get out the camera and document my efforts before I start cutting them up. It's all finished now but the dish-washing but I believe I'll allow them to soak until I've made the icing and do it all at one time.

Picked up my mail and got cream for tomorrow's coffee making. The tomatoes on sale at RABA are green, I got the regularly priced ones. Picked up some canned olives--"may contain pit fragments"--either they are or aren't; I'd have thought. Doesn't look like the new Mediterranean Restaurant across the way will be serving this side of September at the rate they're going. Picked up someone's Direct Cash stub from the floor on my way--$ 1.75 to withdraw 20--not this little lamb--sounds like fleecing to me.

More Kvetching

Does anyone answer their phone anymore?

Canada Post's internal Help Line's automated call sequencer has at least seven levels and can even dial yet another number before you get to, "Your call is important to us, please stay on the line to reserve your spot for the next available service agent."  Being online with an ethnic tech agent while the yokels in the next room are telling racist jokes is not funny. 

Here at home I've had a call from a representative from my Bank.  For over a week I've attempted to call and all I ever receive is voice mail.  I have no desire to play telephone tag with someone named Peggy.  Yes, I have a forty-year-old telephone answering machine, call display, and a vista phone that displays callers--but when I'm home I answer my phone. 

Rearranging My Prejudices

"A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices."

n      William James

 

ITEMS FROM TODAYS’ NEWS

 

n      In Vancouver striking garbage workers are complaining that a church group cleaned up after themselves after a party on a beach.  Next time I’m on strike I guess I’d better object to your dropping that birthday card in Aunt Polly’s mailbox. 

 

n      Pepsi Cola has agreed to ‘come clean’ on their Aquafina labels about the fact that their bottled water comes out of the tap.  I still fail to realize why people insist on paying $ 1.00 for a bottle of water they could fill themselves for free!

 

n      Canada’s first border guards graduated from firearms school.  I’m of two minds over this one.  We’ve all heard about unarmed London Bobbies and the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary that, in the same tradition were unarmed.  Respect for authority and officer presence seems to be deteriorating; I just don’t see that gunpoint diplomacy will improve it.  If detaining vehicles containing contraband is the objective wouldn’t automated spikes or barriers work as effectively?  The gun culture of our neighbours south of the border appears to be driving this one.  I just don’t feel comforted that even one more Canadian will be walking around legally carrying a firearm. 

 

n      NASA has decided to put restrictions on their astronauts vis-à-vis drinking alcohol before flight time—gives a whole tother meaning to the phrase, “DUI”—driving under the influence.  Somehow I’d prefer that someone in control of mega-tons of ultra-high-explosives were sober.  What took them so long?

 

n      A woman was assaulted in the early morning hours while hitchhiking on a lonely section of Lakeshore Rd West in Oakville.  I don’t condone sexual assault but I also don’t condone activities that put one at severe risk. 

 

n      At the Royal Botanical Gardens, RBG, someone found what they thought was a pipe bomb, picked it up, and drove it to a police station.  Turns out it was a Geo-Cache.  Common sense is not common!  Must be related to the youth I’ve seen skateboarding back and forth down the middle of a dark section of Trafalgar Rd dressed all in black. 

 

KEVETCHING

 

Why is it that every time software producers improve the security of a programme all they really do is make it more difficult to use—hackers usually have breached the new measures within hours of their release?  What use is a browser that won’t let you browse?  I just installed the latest ‘must-have’ update for my Mozilla Firefox Browser and it rendered it so useless I’m strongly considering restoring the old version.  Maxthon, similarly has issued a new version of their browser—fortunately it installed in a new folder allowing me to revert to the old version. 

 

I’ve decided why I never became a Post Office Supervisor—I’ve never mastered the art of buck passing.  If I see a thing that needs looking after I feel compelled to see to it; if I hear a phone ringing I feel compelled to answer it; I cannot understand spending half an hour justifying why I didn’t do a five minute task.  The week that was has led me to believe that retirement can’t come quickly enough.  Five supervisors in one office get less accomplished than the two whom they replaced. 

 

This weekend I’m baking some cakes to celebrate my upcoming natal day to share with the gang at work.  At the moment I’m doing it out of habit; not because I feel particularly kindly disposed toward my fellow workers.  No, I’m not baking a Devil’s Food Cake with X-lax but the thought has occurred. 

 

Here in Oakville we’ve spent much of the last month under a severe thunderstorm watch; but the grass looks browner than I ever remember seeing it.  Guess I have to be thankful the temperature hasn’t hit 40º C and we’re not wading through foot high flood waters. 

 

I’m beginning to think I’m suffering from senior male shrinking brain phenomenon.  You know, cranky old curmudgeon. 

 

 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ramblings

My mouse just got itself a new bachelor pad--lucky mouse.

Summertime; and the living is easy--not! Somehow I don't expect it was in Porgy's day either. My workplace dubbed Swift Owl by Amazon and it's Muggles survived a Harry Potter invasion--my own copy even arrived--now I await word of my $ 5.00 discount. Actually I can't complain too much about the delivery of my personal mail lately. However I'll await that coupon before I place another order with Amazon.

My correspondents seem to be lazing on the deck this summer as my inbox is conspicuous by it's emptiness lately. I've had at least half a dozen "Friend" requests in the last two weeks at My Space but none of them could be bothered to honour me with a letter in reply so I guess they weren't that interested. As I age I've been observing that there are fewer and fewer people around to remember that I have a birthday--if only my aching joints would allow me to forget it as well!

Spent several hours outside yesterday and lived to regret it last night and this morning as I nursed my aching sinuses.

Just received a call in response to a letter I wrote in January. That one can't be blamed on the Post Office--it was sent by E-mail! As we like to say at work, the letter can't be received until it is actually placed in the mail stream and it isn't read until it works it's way through the corporate mail system and gets opened. The most egregious example I've witnessed was an international priority letter that was sent registered mail to a hotel in India and returned to the sender 2 years later--and we think Canada Post is bad!

It's time for my afternoon nap. There's one thing reading has over watching TV--the story doesn't go on without you if you fall asleep and the commercials don't wake you either. Just as long as one can find one's bookmark and the page where one dropped off at.

Nap's over. Don't you hate playing telephone tag. What's the point of leaving a message on one of those infernal machines when you just know you'll be called back when you're out or attempting to nap.

Is this old curmudgeon suffering from shrinking brain syndrome--all he seems to be able to do is complain lately!

Week-end Lament

Why am I indoors on this beautiful Day?

Must have something to do with allergies and that nagging sinus headache.

Watched a youTube interview this week in which a young bodybuilder discussed his cutting regime, which involved drinking 5 gallons of water a day to facilitate a body-weight drop of over ten pounds. A normal person attempting to drink that much water in one day would suffer toxic shock not to mention spending most of the day you know where and the strain on his kidneys. Who here thinks body building promotes a healthy lifestyle?

Spent a normal work day period Saturday attempting to clean up a friend's computer. If that bargain computer sounds too good to be true it probably is. Operating Windows XP with 128 RAM is possible if you want to watch paint dry while it loads but don't attempt to run anything else on that computer--like an anti-virus programme? A quick scan found over 500 malware entries. My advice--go get more memory installed!

Don't know as I want to hear the news anymore. Three murders in Toronto last night. Fire in Edmonton; poison food; soccer hooligans in Canada; Strikes; fires; Tammy Faye is wearing make up in Hell--least I hope so--does the heat make it run?

Stop the world, I want to get off!

Another Week Older

Spent last Saturday putzing around the house, listening to CD’s, and folding last week’s laundry. Doesn’t sound exciting, does it?

Somehow I’m beginning to regret having broken into buying MP3’s online but I’d be buying the CD’s anyway and most of the time I listen to them on this computer anyway. Mind you I’ve been waiting for 6 months or more for Amazon to come up with the Neal Finn CD I just downloaded. At least with downloads there is instant gratification. Now I just have to find time to listen to it. I did back it up right away though. Spent considerable time writing a letter to a perspective pen pal who contacted me at My Space and 6 days later I haven’t heard boo! That may have been a waste of my time but at least I had the challenge of clarifying my thinking. Trouble is the few people who do faithfully write are on vacation and for the rest written documents that don’t receive replies are publications not letters. Finished listening to the first Season of Buffy.

Monday morning comes early; especially when one’s day starts at 2:30 AM! Getting an afternoon nap assumes great importance when one didn’t get to sleep early the night before or have that nap on Sunday Afternoon. Getting that nap interrupted by two phone calls was not amusing.

Tuesday I got a day off work to help a friend move. Stayed after to re-assemble a computer; a bed; and drill holes in concrete for picture hanging. Coming home in traffic was a pain but bed felt good even if that nap was early evening. Finished the last episode of the last season of The OC.

Got a rude awakening on my way to work, Wednesday, when I came within a hair’s breath of running over a skate-boarding urchin dressed all in black sliding back and forth across 7 lanes of traffic at 3:30 AM totally oblivious to traffic. Somehow that kid has a death wish. The rest of the day was taken up with work-a-day events. Received word of the first 100 calls that will become our next Suburban Service Route. Having two fellow workers fired in less than a month does not reflect well on the rest of us nor does it paint a particularly good picture of the poeple who managed them; particularly when it was Security and Investigations that came in to do the dirty work. I did not sleep well again this night. Picked up Norton Anti-Virus 2007 on sale at Future Shop on my way home even though I’m good for 5 more months as at the price it’s 1/3 the cost of renewing the subscription to the present version next winter. I’m back watching the Waltons.

Thursday, after a typical day making work for myself as the summer slowdown left little for me to do dropped into East Side Marios for Dinner on my way home. They are busy at lunch time. Caught up on EYE and NOW while I waited. The manager dropped by to tell me his troubles.

Got a got out of jail early pass on Friday and came home; then had to drop by my doctor’s office for a BP check. Spent over an hour for what amounted to a 3 minute consultation during which he barely looked at me. I’ve known that Canada Post would be working July 21st to deliver Harry Potter since the release date was announced last March but it wasn’t until 18 hours before the event that Canada Post got around to asking me if I wanted to be involved in the event. It would seem there’s a law against advanced planning at mother corps. Apparently they don’t think their employees might make plans for a mid-summer weekend. I had no intention of getting up for 5 AM on my day off in any case to be a “Swift Owl” worker as Amazon has dubbed us. AND I definitely don’t want to be on the other end of the phone Monday morning when the people who were promised “delivery or it’s free” start calling. OUCH!

It’s early Saturday morning and I have a shopping list to prepare before I go shopping. Did my backups yesterday along with my malware scans so I’m good to go.

So You Want to be a Movie Star?

So you want to be a movie star? Be careful what you wish for. That unlisted phone number and home security system is no longer optional. Celebrity may guarantee you a dinner reservation but if you want to dine in peace order in. Think twice about what you put in your trash. Don't go out in public without your body guard. You think your union dues are bad? Hire a good agent; then an accountant to keep track of what he's charging you; and a lawyer to look over those contracts. Are you sure you know who your friends are? Think being on a movie set is all about craft service and smoke breaks? Every aspiring actor should be required to read Matthew Modine's Full Metal Jacket Diary. Don't know as I think anybody's worth $ 20,000 a picture but I sure wouldn't want to put up with exploding squibs; overheated, polluted sets; dictatorial directors; and endless retakes. On stage rehearsal my suck but at least the production plays in sequence. On a movie set the first scene shot may be the last one and the next may be mid-movie. The final cut is made by the film editor in consultation with the director. Your finest work may end up on the cutting floor and never be seen. Just some more thoughts on Full Metal Jacket Diary.

Finishing a book leads one to the delicious task of deciding what one will read next and when you library contains a thousand books that task can be over-whelming. Will it be John Jakes, Michael Ondaatje, Alice Munro or Maureen McTeer. In the end I decided to stay with the war theme and read about the Russian Front in World War II as told by Vasily Grossman, a correspondent for the Red Star.

More Ruminations

It was just in the last couple days I learned that Ernest Hemingway, before his suicide was treated for depression with Electro-convulsive Shock Treatments. In my second year in university my Abnormal Psych Professor devoted an inordinate amount of class time to vilifying the practise. Having had first hand experience with an individual who underwent this 'therapy' I can sympathize with her sentiments. ECT is still used to this day, one would hope as a treatment of last resort, because it works; though rendering a writer incapable of reading seems to be a bitter price to pay for relief from black thoughts. But then other former treatments for madness included lobotomies, cold showers, and dark rooms.

With Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix releasing in theatres next weekend the Harry Potter craze is reaching full frenzy. Sales at Amazon Canada are approaching 2,000,000 copies and everyone is holding their breath for the postman's knock so they can start turning pages to see whether or not Harry dies in this one. This postman is neither working that day nor waiting for that knock, in fact I'll probably wait til the book comes out in paperback as I have with the previous 6. With the odds on Harry's death having reached 9 to 2 bookies are no longer writing book on it; though it is interesting to note that not even Harry's on screen namesake knows for sure. It is fascinating to note even in this modern world of ours it is still possible to keep such a thing secret--a technique Canada's Finance Ministers don't seem to have mastered. Amazon having guaranteed that those books will arrive on the 21st of July or they're free I do not want to be on the other end of the phone at Canada Post come Monday Morning. Customers in Great Britain may have problems as there is a Postal Strike ongoing in Her Majesty's Kingdom. Only in Canada, eh; what a bloomin' pity--no longer the case.

Just now I finally finished The Eagle by Jack Whyte being the final saga in his series on Arthurian Legend. After poking away at this book for five months it feels somewhat like I've lost a friend. Outside despite it being mid-morning the sky darkens portending heavy weather.

Lazy Hazy Crazy Days

"The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid."
-- Art Spander

"The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling."
-- Paula Poundstone

With the advent of Global Warming the old song, Roll Out those Lazy Hazy Crazy Days of Summer has an entirely new meaning. Even at this Latitude the heat is sufficient to kill, the air is unfit to breathe, and the news is filled with people killing one another--we have indeed entered the Dog Days of Summer. Over a week later I'm still scratching my head over the idea that anyone in their right mind would pay a cheque cashing outlet over $ 60.00 to have their welfare cheque cashed when a bank will do it for free. Of course that presupposes that one keeps enough money on hand to actually have a bank account. I come from a family that never took in enough money to have attracted the attentions of the Income Tax Department but we weren't poor, at least as we saw it, it's called living within one's means. I suppose someone whose net worth approaches one million may have trouble conceiving of the difficulties faced by a third or fourth generation welfare family but I would still resent giving 10% of my living wage to such a usurious institution.

In my working world every long weekend comes at the price of a hectic week following and this past one was no exception. Afternoon naps continue to be a source of great comfort though arising at 9 in the evening makes cooking supper an novel task. Somehow this week I managed to stay awake long enough to get within 40 pages of finishing my novel by Jack Whyte, The Eagle, which is the conclusion of his series on Arthurian Legend told from the point of view of Clothar, otherwise known as Lancelot. I have finished several books of poetry in the interim. My penpals continue to be terrible letter writers so keeping up with my correspondence has not been onerous. I've also kept ahead of my E-mail though keeping my podcast file from growing ever bigger seems to be a lost cause.

Ordered my personal file this week to see what kind of dirt Canada Post has kept on me these past 36 years. It finally showed up Friday and I didn't have time to peruse it. Fortunately delivering it didn't require a forty foot tractor trailer. Managed to get my shopping in at Longos before the screaming masses could clutter the aisles. I'm still struggling to find where they've hid my favourites since someone decided they needed to totally confuse their customers by completely re-arranging the entire store.
Every day seems to bring another series of suicide bombings in Baghdad and Afghanistan along with more dead Canadian Boys. The legal world is holding its collective breath to hear the decision of the jury in the case of Conrad Black. Given the millions he's already filched God forbid we have to pay for his incarceration. Out west the pig farmer's trial drags on interminably. South of the border a black boy continues to rot in jail because he had his male member orally stimulated by a underage female. The cases of the Guantanamo detainees continue to create useless editorial ink while an uncaring Executive Branch tramples on basic human rights. What moral authority do they have to challenge the Chinese? With such news filling the airwaves I've given up listening to the news. Lacking interest in soccer or as the rest of the world refers to it, football I've steered clear of TV and I similarly lack interest in Live-Aid, whatever it may be nominally in support of this time round along with Bill and Henry's concert honouring Diana.

At the moment I'm trying to decide whether I go have an afternoon nap or start my monthly laundry.

Oh Canada!

Stopped by the Royal Bank on Friday and the place was asea in Canadian Flags.



I, of course, work for a Crown Corporation and we didn't even give it a second thought. But then it was news to the people I work with that Oh Canada has more than one verse--it has, in fact, four:

O Canada! Our home and native land!
True patriot love thou dost in us command.
We see thee rising fair, dear land,
The True North, strong and free;
And stand on guard, O Canada,
We stand on guard for thee.

Refrain
O Canada! O Canada!
O Canada! We stand on guard for thee.
O Canada! We stand on guard for thee.

O Canada! Where pines and maples grow.
Great prairies spread and lordly rivers flow.
How dear to us thy broad domain,
From East to Western Sea,
Thou land of hope for all who toil!
Thou True North, strong and free!

Refrain
O Canada! O Canada! etc.

O Canada! Beneath thy shining skies
May stalwart sons and gentle maidens rise,
To keep thee steadfast through the years
From East to Western Sea,
Our own beloved native land!
Our True North, strong and free!

Refrain
O Canada! O Canada! etc.

Ruler supreme, who hearest humble prayer,
Hold our dominion within thy loving care;
Help us to find, O God, in thee
A lasting, rich reward,
As waiting for the Better Day,
We ever stand on guard.

Refrain
O Canada! O Canada! etc.

These being the original words by Stanley Weir. But then most people also don't realize that our National Anthem existed in French before there was an English Version:

O Canada! Terre de nos aïeux
Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux!
Car ton bras sait porter l'épée,
Il sait porter la croix!
Ton histoire est une épopée
Des plus brillants exploits
Et ta valeur, de foi trempée
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.
Protégera nos foyers et nos droits.

Written by Adolphe-Basile Routhier.

The music for both is by Calixa Lavallée.

Over a year ago I bought a new trilight socket base and Compact Fluorescent Trilight bulb for my antique floor model trilight reading lamp intending to install it when the bulb blew. Of course it has now lasted over 2 years--wouldn't you know.

While I was in Nova Scotia in February I picked up some extra-thick Ganong's Double Mint Peppermints in the hopes that they'd be fresher for buying them closer to the source than the ones I purchase here in Upper Canada. Alas, they lack the flavour I remember of old. My 60-year-old taste buds couldn't have anything to do with it, could they?

Last weekend I got ambitious and made freezer pickles--in the absence of truly fresh cucumbers convenience seems the better part. At the moment I am in preparation to make over-sized bacon cheese muffins--one constitutes the equivalent of breakfast. I've been busy acquiring the ingredients to make a lemon pound cake and carrot cake to mark my upcoming natal day--I take them in to work. I should be doing laundry but having assessed the clothing situation I've decided I can go another week before matters become critical. I have sufficient socks, shirts, and undies to last me at least a month at work.

As twilight came on last night my neighbours to the north began their backyard fireworks. I enjoy the maturing trees outside my balcony windows for their shade and noise suppression value but they do tend to block the view. With the demise of Coffee Time in the mall opposite the weekend was quiet otherwise.