Ruminations on Mortality

It may have something to do with my impending retirement in 213 days and my sixtieth birthday in just 549 but I’ve been in a dour mood lately. The past two weeks have seen the death of two gifted young actors more than half my age and their demise has served to highlight the fragility of our human existence. There are so many things that can go wrong with our bodies it’s a marvel any of us manage to survive much less reach old age. Since proper sanitation and nutrition have made it possible for more people to live well into their 70ies, 80ies, and even 90ies degenerative diseases have come to the forefront and more and more we are learning that it is the life-choices we have made or had made for us that are the determinative factors. The diet we ate in our teens, the music we listened to, and the life-styles we chose serve to influence whether we have heart defects, high blood pressure, hearing loss, or bone density problems in middle age. Heredity can predispose us for many ailments but the choices we make serve to shape how severe the health consequences will be.

I have fought a life-long battle with chronic allergic sinusitis and asthma. It’s an inherited disorder but the fact that I developed allergies and their severity was greatly influenced by the fact that woman of my Mother’s generation were taught to use baby formula rather than breast-feed their babies. I reacted to wool at the age of seven days and became allergic to virtually everything you’d expect to find on a mixed family farm. My reactions for the most part were of a respiratory nature with the exception of the eczema that marked my first contact with wool. In the last five years food allergies have also manifested. Health has been defined as an absence of awareness of the well-being of one’s body. By that definition I’ve never been healthy a day in my life. On the other hand there would seem to be no absolutes in life; one can allow oneself to be defined by one’s troubles or one can rise above them and get on with life in spite of them.

Before a computer and the internet entered my life I managed to read 60 to 70 books a year; this past year I managed 20. I formerly read a newspaper daily; two on weekends; today I get my news online. My radio used to be on and tuned to CBC from the moment my clock radio came on in the morning until I fell asleep with the sleep timer engaged; now I listen to iTunes Podcasts. When the sinuses ache and breathing causes wheezing and whistling sounds it is easy to allow oneself to become sedentary and sit back in front of the TV or a computer screen. The World Wide Web is a fantastic smorgasbord of delights. Virtually anything you’d want to know or explore is available and for the most part it’s free.

Although I live near Toronto where two competing alternative newspapers are published weekly I read the Austin (Texas) City Chronicle because it’s available as a .pdf download for free. I formerly read hardcopy editions of both local weeklies until someone named Heather bought Chapters Books and decided she didn’t want freebies cluttering space that could be used to sell stuff. The fact I no longer visit the store weekly has cost her over $1000 a year in my custom—her loss is Amazon’s gain; their prices are cheaper as well. It was in the Chronicle I learned that this week saw the release of a remastered Live CD by Townes Van Zandt. He was known to me but until I went searching I had not been aware that he was a native Texan. Townes is in a long line of performers who died preternaturally: Jeff Buckley, drowning; Harry Chapin, plane crash; Stan Rogers, plane crash; Chet Baker, drugs; Elliot Smith, gunshot; Nick Drake, drug overdose…. Townes was born with a silver spoon but suffered from Manic-Depression which was treated with Insulin Shock. Again one has to wonder which was worse; the illness or the treatment. In any case together they served to make him an erratic performer and acquaintance. His CD Rear View Mirror is available for $15.99 on Amazon Canada or $11.98 from Waterloo Records in Austin Texas--$16.90 at Chapters online by the bye.

When it comes to podcasts on iTunes there is an embarrassment of riches available and my eclectic interests ensure that I continue to download 3 times faster than I listen. Just yesterday I transferred 9 GB of material to my Archos Player. Perhaps when I hit the road I’ll get a chance to catch up. It’s gotten to the point that I’m afraid to go looking because I keep finding irresistible discoveries. Take today, American Public Radio has on offer a 2-hour podcast called Weekend America—at least it’s only once a week. Being a German Canadian Farmboy from Lunenburg County, Nova Scotia I have no background in women’s issues or the challenges of being Black in America. Accordingly it would never have occurred to me that Black Females in the US are being confronted with the conflict of whether they should support the first Woman with a chance of becoming president or the first Afro-American; until I listened to the latest podcast that is. And being a WASP I have no concept as to whether any or all of the previous designations are offensive or politically incorrect. It just seems to me that whatever Whitey gets used to calling those people becomes offensive over time. To me it’s the pejorative tone with which words are used that makes them offensive though some words such as the N word and f@#k are innately offensive, simply in bad taste.

Another change in my life is a developing predilection for attending church online. There are myriad choices available but I opt for either Duke Chapel or Grace Cathedral:

http://www.chapel.duke.edu/media/

Duke has a five year archive of services and concerts that may be streamed at will.

Got my camera out this morning and connected the wide-angled lens to attempt to get some more pictures of our new corridors. Here’s a view of my front entrance: