The first thing that one learns when one acquires a computer is that you don’t own it; it owns you. You may press the on button but it starts itself; and takes it’s own good looking time doing so. And you don’t shut it down; you ask it to shut itself down. Violate that basic law and you pay the price as Windows got back at me today. It decided to hang rather than shut itself down so I was forced to use the off button—to work it must be held four seconds. It’s not as if I had much choice but in retribution Windows misplaced the ‘turn off computer’ command on the start menu and disabled win keys—those shortcuts for show desktop, Windows Key + D; show explorer, Windows Key + E.
Windows has many ways to let you know who is boss. Just try naming a file with a ?, /, or !. If you ask windows to do something it doesn’t want to do it tells you in no uncertain terms and then gives you a button to click that says OK. It’s not OK but you have no choice but to click it if you wish to go on using your computer. Windows is forever broken and in need of a fix, update, patch, or repair. It’s files need scanning, defragmentation, and backing up. Computers are in constant need of new programmes, firewalls, anti-virus systems, anti-malware programmes, root kits…. Mice and keyboards wear out, hard drives fail. And they need printers, modems, blue teeth, backup power, surge protectors, scanners, speakers and enough wires to wrap a mummy.
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